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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - korrektur wäre sehr nett =)
korrektur wäre sehr nett =) < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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korrektur wäre sehr nett =): märchen
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 16:02 So 06.01.2008
Autor: airam111

Aufgabe
...

Wir müssen ein modernes Ende von dem Märchen Rapunzel schreiben. Es ist ab dem Zeitpunkt, als die Hexe bemerkt, dass Rapunzel regelmßig Besuch von einem Prinzen bekommt.

The wicked witch cut of Rapunzel’s long golden hair with a pair of scissors. Then she said “Now nobody can visit you any longer. You will die of starvation, because now I let you alone in the tower!” The witch took a broom and flew out of the window into the dark night. Broken-hearted Rapunzel decided to commit suicide. She climbed on the ledge of the window. When she wanted to jump out of the window, she suddenly saw the lights of her prince’s car. When the prince saw Rapunzel standing on the ledge, he called the police immediately. After some minutes a whole police force arrived. They built up a trampoline in witch Rapunzel jumped in. Now Rapunzel asked the prince when they went to his castle. But his boyfriend explained her that he was only an actor who had currently a role as a prince. He also said that that is the reason for his curios outfit. Rapunzel was a bit disappointed because she wanted to live in a big castle as a princess. But when she saw her boyfriend’s big villa in Hollywood she was perfectly satisfied. After one year Rapunzel gave birth to twins and the family lived happily ever after.

danke schonmal.. =)

        
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korrektur wäre sehr nett =): Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 19:58 So 06.01.2008
Autor: espritgirl

Hallo airam11 [winken],

Ich versuche mich mal an einer Korrektur:

> The wicked witch cut of Rapunzel’s long golden hair with a
> pair of scissors. Then she said “Now From now on nobody can visit you
> any longer. You will die of starvation, because now I let
> you alone in the tower!” The witch took a broom and flew
> out of the window into the dark night. Broken-hearted
> Rapunzel decided to commit suicide. She climbed on the
> ledge of the window window ledge. When she wanted to jump out of the
> window, she suddenly saw the lights of her prince’s car.
> When the prince saw Rapunzel standing on the ledge, he
> called the police immediately. After some minutes a whole
> police force arrived. They built up a trampoline in witch and
> Rapunzel jumped in. Now Then Rapunzel asked the prince when they
> went to his castle. But his boyfriend explained her that he
> was only an actor who had currently a role as a prince. He
> also said that that this is the reason for his curios strange outfit.
> Rapunzel was a bit visibly disappointed because she wanted to live
> in a big castle as like a princess. But when she saw her
> boyfriend’s big villa in Hollywood she was perfectly
> satisfied
higly pleased. After one year Rapunzel gave birth to twins and
> the family lived happily ever after.
And they all lived happily ever after.



Liebe Grüße,

Sarah :-)

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korrektur wäre sehr nett =): danke!
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 16:33 Mo 07.01.2008
Autor: airam111

dankeeschön für die korrektur!
echt super!

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