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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - information sheet
information sheet < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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information sheet: Frage (beantwortet)
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 21:50 Fr 20.02.2015
Autor: Mr.Duke

Aufgabe
Please write an information sheet about an important person by using the newly learned vocabulary. Do not write more than 200 words.
Write about
- the time (age) the person lived in,
- the social class situation of his time,
- his schooling and education,
- his merits and the honours he received.
Point out what makes this person interesting for you personally and what makes him/her an outstanding personality. Don’t forget to give your text a clear structure: introduction, main part, ending.



Jimi Hendrix
James Marshall “Jimi”Hendrix was born November 27, 1942.
He was an American guitarist, singer, and songwriter.
Born in Seattle, Washington, he had four younger siblings. His father couldn't find steady work and left the family impoverished. Hendrix began playing guitar at the age of 15. He canceled school before graduation.In 1961, he enlisted in the US Army. He war granted an honorable discharge the following year.
Soon afterward, he moved to Clarksville, Tennessee and began playing gigs with the Isley Brothers and later with Little Richard, with whom he continued to work through mid-1965. He then played with Curtis Knight and the Squires before moved to England. In late 1966 after he was discovered by Linda Keith, Chas Chandler of the Animals became his first manager. Within months, Hendrix had earned three UK top ten hits with the Jimi Hendrix Experience: Hey Joe,Purple Haze and The wind Cries Mary. He achieved fame in the US after his performance at the Monterey Pop festival in 1967, and ind 1968 his third and final studio album, Electric Ladyland, reached number on in the US. As the world's highest-paid performer, he headlined the Woodstock Festival in 1969 and the Isle of Wight Festival in 1970 before his accidental death from barbiturate-related asphyxia on September 18 1970, at the age of 27.
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame describes him as “arguably the greatest instrumentalist in the history of rock music”
Although his mainstream career spanned only four years, he is widely regarded as on of the most influential electric guitarists in the history
of popular music, and one of the most celebrated musicians of the 20th century. I'm a guitar player and composer ,too. That is reason because he is so fascinating for me.
   73  

How many words did you write in all?
289…

Grüsse,
kann man das so lassen?

mfg und Danke

        
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information sheet: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 08:50 Sa 21.02.2015
Autor: Infinit

Hallo Mr.Duke.
der Text ist okay bis auf wenige Typos, aber es sind zuviele Worte.
Hier erst mal die Typos:
He was granted ...

... before he moved to England.

... in 1968

... reached number one ...

That is the reason ....

Ein paar Sätze kann man meines Erachtens weglassen:
His father couldn't find steady work

Die Infos über die US Army bringen nichts weiter. Weglassen und dann weitermachen mit "In 196x he moved to Clarksville ...

Auch der Satz mit der Rock and Roll Hall of Fame bringt nichts weiter, eine fast gleiche Bewertung erfolgt im darauffolgenden Satz.
Ich hoffe, dies hilft etwas und es war nicht allzuviel "purple haze, all in my brain" ;-)
Viele Grüße,
Infinit

Bezug
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