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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - Zum korrigieren
Zum korrigieren < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Zum korrigieren: Frage (beantwortet)
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 11:18 Do 09.07.2009
Autor: Dinker

Guten Morgen

Wäre sehr dankbar um Korrektur


Jack doesn’t feel a necessity to be rescued. Because on the island he can live out his true human nature, what he can only on the island.

Because Piggy wouldn’t be able to survive on the island, he is fixated on being rescued.

To eradicate the beast is impossible, because it resided in everyone of us. Therefore our work is to keep the beast back that it doesn’t become the dominant force in our life.
He doesn’t give us a closing answer and a lot of things stay unexplained. Thereforethis novel lets a lot of room for speculation.

His live change completely, what is symbolize when he crosses the river. It can see as baptism, as a result/thus a new Montag is born.

In my opinion human freedom is that we are able to act according to our ideas.
But if we hadn’t any laws, rules and person who are responsible that we adhere to the law, the world would cause a chaos. Therefore it’s important to find the right balance between freedom and laws.

The novel is narrated from Montag’s point of view. Therefore the reader is very close to him. We get an insight in his thought thus we can sympathize in what a difficult life situation he is.
At the beginning he is a very proud fireman and has a constant smile on his lips. He has pleasure by his work to ignite books and houses. But he has never really question his work and what he cause by book burning. Therefore the encounter with a young lady names Clarisse is a very significant incident in his life. She confronts him with question and thoughts he has never thought about. At first he makes a dislike impression, because her thoughts are incompatible with his life. Because of several events like the old woman who prefers to die than life without books or his wife attempts to commit suicide and Faber teaches about the values of books cause an inner turmoil and he realizes what a numb, callous and uncontent life he leads. Therefore he comes to the conclusion that he must change his life radically.  So he is strive to find a fulfilled life and isn’t more willing to disobey the arbitrary rules of the government.

As more the boys lose human elements like the ability to think, make their own decision or act with sanity and reason as more Jack is able to control them, because the follow him blind.

It’s important to define what are human qualities or based on which qualities we distinguish us from an animal. Human beings have the ability to act according to sanity and reason, make their own decision, to ponder between different aspects and can sympathize with others. But in the course of the novel you can see that the boys lose exactly these abilities, therefore I’m not surprised that they act like animals.

Danke
Gruss Dinker




        
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Zum korrigieren: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 12:39 Do 09.07.2009
Autor: M.Rex


> Guten Morgen
>  
> Wäre sehr dankbar um Korrektur
>  
>

Jack doesn’t feel a necessity to be rescued. Because only on the island he can live out his true human nature, what he can only on the island.
Because Piggy wouldn’t be able to survive on the island, he is fixated on being rescued (Fixated to []verlangt "something").

To eradicate the beast is impossible, because it resided in everyone of us. Therefore our work is to keep push back the beast back, thatso it doesn’t become the dominant force in our life.
He doesn’t give us a closing (??) answer and a lot of things stay unexplained. Therefore this novel lets a lot ofleaves room for speculation. ([]Link)
His live change completely, what is symbolized when heby crossesing the river. It can see as baptism, as a result/thus a new Montag is born. (was wilslt du damit ausdrücken? "Man kann es als Taufe bezeichnen, auf der ein Neuer Montag geboren worden ist"?)
In my opinion human freedom is, that we are able to act according to our ideas.
But if we hadn’t any laws, rules and persons, who are responsible that we [s]adhere to[s]obey the law ([]Link), the world would cause a chaos ...verursachte die Welt ein Chaos? (das macht keinen Sinn, oder)?. Therefore it’s important to find the right balance between freedom and laws.

The novel is narrated from Montag’s point of view. Therefore the reader is very close to him. We get an insight in his thought thus we can sympathize, in so dass wir mit ihm Symphathisieren, ich welcher...( Auch das ist so irgendwie sinnfrei, oder?. what a difficult life situation he is.
At the beginning he is a very proud fireman and has a constant smile on his lips. He has pleasure by his work to ignite books and houseser hat Spass bei dem Job, Bücher und Häuser anzuzünden??. But he has never really questioned his work and what he cause by [s]book burning[s][]fire raising. Therefore the encounter with a young lady names Clarisse is a very significant incident in his life. She confronts him with questions and thoughts he has never thought about. At first he makes a dislike impression, because her thoughts are  incompatible with his life. Because of several events like the old woman, who prefers to die than lifve without books or his wife attempts to commit suicide and Faber teaches about the values of books cause an inner turmoil and he realizes what a numb, callous and uncontent life he leads Wozu gehört das. Hier verschachtelst du dich in deinen Sätzen. Therefore he comes to the conclusion that he must radicallychange his liferadically(Die Stellung der Adverbien hatte irgendjemand mal hier angemerkt). So he is striveing to find a fulfilled life and isn’t more willing dont want to disobey the arbitrary rules of the government any more.

As more the boys lose human elements like the ability to think, to make their own decision or to act with sanity and reason, as more Jack is able to control them, because they follow him blindly, []besser:unquestioningly  .

It’s important to define, what are human qualities or based on which qualities we distinguish us from an animal. Human beings have the ability to act according to sanity and reason, tomake their own decision, to ponder between different aspects and can sympathize with others. But in
the course of the novel you can see that the boys lose exactly these abilities, therefore I’m not surprised that they act like animals.

> Danke
>  Gruss Dinker
>  

Das übliche. BEachte, dass du die Aufzählungen im selben Stil forführst, und beachte die Nebensatzkonstruktionen, du verschachtelst sich oft so, dass man den Bezug im Nebensatz verliert. Ausserdem kann man so viele schöne Würter als Verknüpfung finden, und muss nicht immer "that" nehmen.

(als beispiele: although, therefore, furthermore...)

Marius

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Zum korrigieren: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 15:00 Do 09.07.2009
Autor: Dinker

Vielen Dank, dass du soviel Zeit für mich opferst.


Mit closing meinte ich: Der Autor gibt uns keine abschliessende Antwort

Gruss Dinker

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Zum korrigieren: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 15:23 Do 09.07.2009
Autor: leduart

Hallo dinker
Ich bin mal wieder empoert ueber deine Reaktion. Marius hat sich irre Muehe gegeben, VIEL Zeit eingesetzt (ueberleg mal wie lang du brauchtest etwas so sorgfaeltig und farbig zu korrigiere,
darauf ein satz, kein danke oder sonst was nettes, keine bemerkung, was du daraus gelernt hast. Wenn ich der Korrigierer waer wuerdest du nicht mehr so schnell von mir hoeren. kannst du dir wirklich nicht vorstellen, dass jemand so die lust verlieren kann seine freizeit fuer dich zu opfern? ich weiss zufaellig, dass dein Korrigierer kein arbeitsloser oder pensionaer, sondern ein sehr beschaeftigter Student ist!
Das musste ich los werden! ich hoffe auch Marius liest das und du lernst irgendwann mal aus den Konsequenzen deiner bodenlosen Schnorrerei ohne Gegenleistung oder Zeichen von Anerkennung..
leduart
Gruss leduart

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Zum korrigieren: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 15:42 Do 09.07.2009
Autor: Dinker

Hallo Leduart

Du hast natürlich vollkommen Recht, dass mein Verhalten mehr als unangebracht ist.

Möchte mich wirklich entschuldigen.

Gruss Dinker

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