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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - Nutrition and health
Nutrition and health < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Nutrition and health: Frage (beantwortet)
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 20:31 Mo 01.02.2021
Autor: cheezy

Aufgabe
Themenbereich 4/3: Ernährung und Gesundheit – Nutrition and health

Compare and contrast the two pictures.

Discuss how smoking affects people´s health.

Present your ideas on how you would change the smoking law in Austria if you had the right to do so. Would you prohibit smoking in all public places and restaurants

Kann mir jemand bitte meinen unten stehenden Absatz Korrekturlesen?

habe im Juni eine wichtige Englisch-Maturaprüfung wäre euch sehr dankbar :)

In the left picture I can see in the non-smoking area a barkeeper, who is mixing a drink for his guests. In the right picture there is probably a gambling house, where it is allowed to smoke and drink.

The smoking of a cigarette has a bad impact on the health system of our body because it can make you strongly addicted and it is very harmful. The problem of smoking is the nicotine because it has few negative effects on physical health. The blood pressure raises and the risk of heart and arterial disease is increased. The cigarette is also connected with more than 4000 other toxic components, among them they are acetone, ammonia, cadmium, carbon monoxide, which causes the greatest risk on health. Smoking also increases the risk of cancer of the lung, throat and stomach. These are the main reasons why smokers die very young and they are a pressure for our health care system.

If I were a politician, I would increase all the taxes of the cigarettes. This will have a good affect to the smokers because they will aware that they are damaging themselves. So as the time goes on more and more people will not try it because of the expensive price. Another solution is that more workshops about this topic should take place in work or in schools. In these workshops this professional guide may can help the smokers to stop smoking. They can offer them nicotine patch or lozenge. So more people can participate in these meetings and the awareness can be increased. Hopefully nobody in the future will  think to start with this habit.  


        
Bezug
Nutrition and health: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 22:11 Di 02.02.2021
Autor: chrisno

Mit der üblichen Warnung, dass ich in Grammatik und Rechtschreibung nicht sattelfest bin:

> Themenbereich 4/3: Ernährung und Gesundheit – Nutrition
> and health
>  
> Compare and contrast the two pictures.
>  
> Discuss how smoking affects people´s health.
>  
> Present your ideas on how you would change the smoking law
> in Austria if you had the right to do so. Would you
> prohibit smoking in all public places and restaurants
>  
> Kann mir jemand bitte meinen unten stehenden Absatz
> Korrekturlesen?
>  
> habe im Juni eine wichtige Englisch-Maturaprüfung wäre
> euch sehr dankbar :)

>  In the left picture I can see in the non-smoking area a
> barkeeper, who is mixing a drink for his guests. In the
> right picture there is probably a gambling house, where it
> is allowed to smoke and drink.

Ist es erlaubt, "I can see" zu schreiben? Oder musst du nicht schreiben "one can see" oder is depicted" Oder ...
Ich finde es etwas knapp. Woran erkennt man den Nichtraucherbereich? Woran den Raucherbereich? Gibt es sonst keine weiteren Unterschiede, die vielleciht auf eine Stimmung hindeuten?
"The right picture shows ..." erkläre, wie du auf gambling house kommst?

>  
> The smoking of a cigarette has a bad impact on the health

Smoking cigarrettes ...

> system of our body

on your health reicht

> because it can make you strongly
> addicted and it is very harmful. The problem of smoking is
> the nicotine because it has few

few passt hier nicht

> negative effects on
> physical health. The blood pressure raises and the risk of
> heart and arterial disease is increased. The cigarette is

smoke?

> also connected with more than 4000 other toxic components,
> among them they are acetone, ammonia, cadmium, carbon
> monoxide, which causes the greatest risk on health.

In welcher Form?

> Smoking
> also increases the risk of cancer of the lung, throat and
> stomach. These are the main reasons why smokers die very
> young and they are a pressure

on

> our health care system.

>  
> If I were a politician, I would increase

taxes on cigarrettes

> This will have a good affect to the smokers
> because they will

become aware that they are damaging themselves.

>

So, as time goes on, more and more people will not try it

> because of the

high expenses.

> expensive price. Another solution is that
> more workshops about this topic should take place in work
> or in schools. In these workshops this professional guide
> may can help the smokers to stop smoking. They can offer
> them nicotine patch or lozenge. So more people can
> participate in these meetings and the awareness can be
> increased. Hopefully nobody in the future will  

be tempted

> to
> start

this habit.  

>  


Bezug
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