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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - Hilfe bei Grammatik
Hilfe bei Grammatik < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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Hilfe bei Grammatik: Frage (beantwortet)
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 19:36 Mi 12.01.2005
Autor: Sleepy1982nrw

Hallo, ich muß Freitag einen Aufsatz vortragen und ich hab mir da jetzt was zusammen gedichtet und weiß nicht so recht ob ich das so schreiben kann. Also Englisch ist nicht grade mein Lieblingsfach und deshalb denke ich persönlich so, das dass was ich geschrieben habe, eigentlich recht plausibel klingt.  Aber ich hab auch von Englisch wenig Ahnung.

Wäre nett wenn sich das mal jemand durchlesen könnte.

I don’t tell you something about my Hobbies. Because I haven’t any exciting Hobbies.
But I can tell you something about my Holiday in Tunisia.

I was in Tunisia for 5 years ago. Our Hotel was of Djerba. Djerba is a peninsula of Tunisia.

We make it a Jeep Tour from the Hotel over the limit of the Sahara. Then, we rode on camels to a ruin of a fortress from a roman legion. After that, we slept in a desert camp.

When I saw the camp beds, I knew immediately, which I can’t sleep there. I had to introduce myself, which a scorpion could come into the tent. The bed was not very high over the soil and any animals could fast into the tent arrive. Therefore I had to drink at the campfire first times a few glasses of a native liquor. After that I was so drunk it me also all the same was, if I had slept at this night in the sand.

On the next Day, we drove back to the Hotel.

On another day we made a trip into the capital. I was as we again in the hotel was glad. Because in the shopping streets everywhere salesman stood for us something to sell wanted.
I found that extreme disturbing.

The last trip went to a mosque on Djerba. I believe, that was the largest mosque in Tunisia. Today stands from this building no longer much. Or they developed it again. I do not know. Anyhow before 1 or 2 years a tank vice was blown up there by terrorists into air.


And I spent the remaining time of my holidays at the pool of the hotel.


        
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Hilfe bei Grammatik: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 20:18 Mi 12.01.2005
Autor: miadeala

also da sind ja ein paar ganz schöne fehler drinne.. weiß nich ob ich alle finde aber die meisten verbesser ich dir mal, satz für satz:

1. I don't have any exciting hobbies.
2....about my holidays... (klein und plural)
3. I was in Tunisia 5 years ago.
4. we made a jeep tour...
5. I knew immediately, THAT i can't sleep there.
6. I had to introduce myself??? introduce  heißt vorstellen und der satz heißt: ich stellte MICH vor! sich etw. vorstellen heißt: imagine
also: I imagined, THAT (wieso which, das ist nur bei sachen?) a scorpion might come into the tent.
7...and animals could come fast into the tent
8. i had to drink a few glasses of a native liquor at the campfire for the first time.
9. After that i was so drunk that everything seemed the same to me; i wouldn't have mind if i 've slept in the sand this night. (Ort vor Zeit)
10.Another day we made a trip to the capital.
11. I was glad when we were in the hotel again, because in the shoppingstreets salesmen stood everywhere wanting to sell something.
12.I found that extremeLY disturbing,
13.On the last trip...
14. I think, that was the largest mosque in Tunisia.
15. Today there is nothing anymore to see of this buliding.
16. Or they build it up again.
17.Somehow 1 or 2 years ago a tank was blown up into the air by terrorists.

soo.... man man man... das sind ja ganz schön viele und hefitge fehler.. wiederhol mal die grundgrammatik, wäre nicht schlecht! viel glück beim nächsten mal!

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Hilfe bei Grammatik: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 20:40 Mi 12.01.2005
Autor: Sleepy1982nrw

Oh man, danke....ich weiß auch nicht wie ich das immer schaffe. Aber das ist halt das Problem wenn man in der Berufsschule kein Englisch hatte und für´s Fachabi muß man es halt können. Hab nach 4 Jahren das meiste vergessen und wenn ich meine fehler sehe, dann fällt es mir wieder ein.

Danke trotzdem!!

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Hilfe bei Grammatik: Weitere Vorschläge
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 19:32 Do 13.01.2005
Autor: mathenix


> I don’t tell you something about my Hobbies. Because I haven’t any

besser: I don't want to tell ... because I don't have any ...
(Satz zusammen, klein weiter)

> exciting Hobbies. But I can tell you something about my Holiday in

hobbies; holidays

> Tunisia.

> I was in Tunisia for 5 years ago. Our Hotel was of Djerba. Djerba is

... in Tunesia five years ago .... Our hotel was in ...

> a peninsula of Tunisia.

> We make it a Jeep Tour from the Hotel over the limit of the Sahara.

... made a jeep tour (safari?); ... hotel crossing the border of ...

> Then, we rode on camels to a ruin of a fortress from a roman legion.

... fortress of former roman legion.

> After that, we slept in a desert camp.
> When I saw the camp beds, I knew immediately, which I can’t sleep

... immediately, that I can’t ...

> there. I had to introduce myself, which a scorpion could come into

??? I feared that a scorpion could come into my tent ....

> the tent. The bed was not very high over the soil and any animals

... over the ground and all kind of animals could quickly get into the tent

> could fast into the tent arrive. Therefore I had to drink at the
> campfire first times a few glasses of a native liquor. After that I

Therefore I had to drink some glasses of a native liquor at the campfire
before I went to bed.

> was so drunk it me also all the same was, if I had slept at this
> night in the sand.

... drunken that I felt like sleeping the whole night in the sand.

> On the next Day, we drove back to the Hotel.

Next day ...... hotel (kein Komma)

> On another day we made a trip into the capital. I was as we again in

Another .... to the capital.

> the hotel was glad. Because in the shopping streets everywhere

I was glad when we were back in the hotel, because

> salesman stood for us something to sell wanted.

salesmen stood everywhere in the streets and wanted us to buy something.

> I found that extreme disturbing.

That was extremely disturbing for me.

> The last trip went to a mosque on Djerba. I believe, that was the

... trip we went ...

> largest mosque in Tunisia. Today stands from this building no longer
> much. Or they developed it again. I do not know. Anyhow before 1 or 2
> years a tank vice was blown up there by terrorists into air.

Today there is not much to see of this building as one or two year
ago, terrorists blew up a tank vice ('into air' ist zuviel). ...


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Hilfe bei Grammatik: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 23:52 Sa 15.01.2005
Autor: delee

Hallo zusammen,

5. I knew immediately, THAT i can't sleep there.

Sollte es denn nicht viel eher heißen "I knew immediately, that I couldn't sleep there"
Der ganze Satz ist eigentlich Vergangenheit, wieso also ändern?



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