HILFE Korigieren < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 18:22 Mo 14.03.2005 | | Autor: | stone-d |
Hallo
wir schreiben morgen eine Englisch Arbeit über die industralisierung in Yorkshire. Ich habe da jetzt ein paar Texte geschrieben. Kann die jemand bitte nachgucken und auch, wenn es geht, Vorschläge machen wie ich das noch zusammenfassen kann? Das ist nämlich noch ein bisschen zu lang.
(Ich hätte schon gestern die Texte schicken können aber ich konnte mich irgendwie nicht anmelden!)
TEXT:
Before the industrial revolution, most goods were made by hand. In 18th century manufacturers began to change all that. They started to build factories because of new inventions. There were new machines able to produce goods more efficiently. But these new factories also needed a new source of power. Till then, machines had used neutral power and therefore were quite limited. Then early in the 18th century the steam engine was invented. But hey were still not very efficient. However, in 1769, James Watt found ways to improve them. Redesigned, the new generation of steam engines gave the new factories all the power they needed.
Until the 18th century the people in Yorkshire used wood as fuel. But as the industries change, they needed a new fuel, because wood didnt burn enough to make iron and steel. So the people in Sheffield decided to use coal in the new industry century.
Many factories need many workers. Most people lived in the country, where they making their own clothes and growing up their own food. But agriculture was changing, too. Using new methods, the rich could grow food for profit if they had bigger pieces of land. They got these big pieces of land through enclosures, taking over open common land used for centuries by ordinary people. Having lost large area of land to enclosures, the poor people needed other work. They moved to towns to look for work in the new factories, so small places like Sheffield turn into big cities.
Producing more and more goods, factory owners looked for efficient ways to get them to market - and they soon found them. Built during the 18th century, canals now linked towns all over Britain, making transport of factory goods faster and cheaper. Although carrying people rather than goods, roads also improved. When travelling on the new stagecoaches, passengers could get from London to Manchester in a day a journey of three days before. Linking better road and more canals, towns grew quickly. Not arriving o the scene until the early 9th century, the railway was certainly the greatest new development in transport. Spreading quickly around Britain and the world, railways became a symbol of the Industrial Revolution.
Das ist echt ein Notfall!
Wäre euch so dankbar wenn ihr das noch heute Abend hinbekommen würdet.
stone-d
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Before the industrial revolution, most goods were made by hand. In the 18th century, manufacturers began to change all that. They started to build factories because of new inventions. New machines were now able to produce goods more efficiently. But these new factories also needed a new source of power. Until then, machines had used neutral(?natural?)) power and therefore were quite limited. The steam engine was invented throughout the 18th century. Nevertheless, they were still not very efficient. However, in 1769, James Watt found ways to improve them. Redesigned, the new generation of steam engines gave the new factories all the power they needed.
In former times, people in Yorkshire used wood for fuel. But with the industrial change, they needed a new fuel, because wood did not burn enough in order to make iron and steel. So the people in Sheffield decided to use coal in the new industrial century.
More and more factory owners were looking for more and more employees. Most people lived in the rural areas, where they made their own clothes and owned plots of land to grow food. But agriculture was changing, too. Using new methods, the rich now could grow food for profit if they had bigger pieces of land.Having lost large areas of land to enclosures, the poor people needed other work. They moved into urban areas to look for work in the new factories, so small places like Sheffield turned into big cities.
Producing more and more goods, factory owners looked for efficient ways to get them to the market - and they soon found them. In the 18 th century, canals now linked towns all over Britain, making transport of factory goods faster and cheaper. Although carrying people rather than goods, roads also improved. By travelling with new stagecoaches, passengers could get from London to Manchester within a day a journey of three days before that . Linking better roads and more canals, towns grew quickly. The railway was certainly the greatest new development in transport. Spreading quickly around Britain and the world, railways became a symbol of the Industrial Revolution.
----aight son, now i've been trying to give your text the general tone without changing too much.
nevertheless look for further mistakes...i ain't perfect.
holla back youngin'
;)
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(Frage) reagiert/warte auf Reaktion  | | Datum: | 15:06 Di 15.03.2005 | | Autor: | Guman |
hallo,
ehm ich suche jemanden, der nett wäre und meinen etwas längeren Text nach Fehlern überprüfen könnte :P. Wäre dir dankbar Heinrich XXIII, wenn du dich bei mir meldest. Am besten wäre es, wenn du dich über icq meldest(104212307)
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![[willkommenvh]](/images/smileys/willkommenvh.png "[willkommenvh]")
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