Entschuldigung < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 12:29 So 14.06.2009 | | Autor: | silfide |
| Aufgabe | | Schreibe eine haarsträubende Entschuldigung, weil du zu spät zur Stunde kamst. 70-100 Wörter. |
Leute ich verzweifel, bitte helft mir!
Sorry Ms ***,
I know I come late to oder doch for? your English lesson, but I can give you an Explanation why I come so late. Der Satzbau sieht irgendwie falsch aus *grübel*
It was in the middle of the night and I go to childrens room, because my son was crying. So, I give him a bottle with milk and look after my daughter. I was shocked as I looked on the face of my daughter.
Her mouth was no longer available. Her skin was growing over her moth. So she cannot eat, drink and speak. I went with her to the hospital and she gets an operation at reconstruction her mouth.
At that oder doch this? moment its all fine and Im here.
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(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 15:54 So 14.06.2009 | | Autor: | Tanea |
Hallo Mia,
okay, dann mal ein paar Anmerkungen
> Sorry Ms ***,
"sorry" als Anrede ist komisch, beginn lieber normal und schreib dann irgendwas mit "to apologize for being late" oder so..
> I know I come late to oder doch for? your English lesson,
zu spät kommen ist "to be late"
"I'm late" for our/the ...
> but I can give you an Explanation why I come so late. Der
> Satzbau sieht irgendwie falsch aus *grübel*
statt "give you an Explanation" könntest du auch schreiben to explain"
hier auch wieder "to be late" statt to come late.
setzt hier mal bitte alles in die Vergangenheit. Es ist ja in der Nacht passiert!
> It was in the middle of the night and I go to childrens
> room, because my son was crying. So, I give him a bottle
> with milk and look after my daughter. I was shocked as I
> looked on the face of my daughter.
"when I looked into my daughters face"
> Her mouth was no longer available.
available passt nicht, such mal ein anderes wort
> Her skin was growing
> over her moth.
wuchs die Haut gerade, oder war sie schon gewachsen?
> So she cannot eat, drink and speak. I went
> with her to the hospital and she gets an operation at
> reconstruction her mouth.
> At that oder doch this? moment its all fine > and Im here.
hier würde ich mit "now" beginnen und statt "it's all fine" "she is all right"..
>
>
okay, Mia. Jetzt bist du mit verbessern dran. Vor allem die Verben musst du in die Vergangenheit setzen!
Ich kann mir das später nochmal anschauen wenn du magst.
achso, und präposition kann man wunderbar im Wörterbuch nachschlagen (pons.de zum Beispiel), versuch das mal mit "zu spät kommen"
Gruß Tanea
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(Frage) beantwortet | | Datum: | 18:00 So 14.06.2009 | | Autor: | silfide |
Hallo Tanea,
nun die verbesserte (?) Version ...
Dear Ms ***,
I know I be too late for our English lesson, but I can explain why I be too late.
It was in the middle of the night and I went to childrens room, because my son cried. So, I gave him a bottle with milk and looked after my daughter. I was shocked when I looked into my daughters face.
Her mouth was no longer viewable. Her skin had grown over her moth. So she cannot eat, drink and speak. I went with her to the hospital and she gets an operation at reconstruction her mouth.
Now she is all right and Im here.
Besser??
Mia
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(Antwort) fertig | | Datum: | 19:39 So 14.06.2009 | | Autor: | Tanea |
Hallo Mia,
ja, schon besser, allerdings immer noch einige Kleinigkeiten.
Also weiter:
> I know I be too late for our English lesson, but I can
> explain why I be too late.
"to be late" bedeutet "zu spät sein"
im Deutschen würdest du ja auch nicht sagen "ich seinzu spät" sondern "ich bin zu spät"
deshalb muss es heißen "I'm too late" (später im Satz nochmal)
schöner wäre außerdem: I know that I'm...
It was in the middle of the night [r]and[/r] (schöner: "when") I went to childrens room, because my son cried. So, I gave him a bottle with
milk and looked after my daughter. I was shocked when I
looked into my daughters face.
Her mouth was no longer viewablevisible . Her skin had grown over her moth. So she cannot eat, drink and speak. I went with
her to the hospital and she gets an operation at reconstruction to reconstruct her mouth.
Now she is all right and Im here.
das Fettgedruckte ist verbessert, beim Roten musst du nochmal dran (Zeit bzw. Rechtschreibung)
Gruß
Tanea
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 20:26 So 14.06.2009 | | Autor: | silfide |
Hallo Tanea,
ich danke dir für deine Hilfe und wünsche dir einen schönen Rest-Abend.
Mia
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